Use Your Illusion II

The internet is crawling with magicians. Some fancy themselves escape artists, others dazzle moms with sleight of hand and Men's Wearhouse gear. And some assholes just jam steak knives into lemons, probably send their kids to Bennington on that shit. No one said life's fair.

Your dude's all up in the much-anticipated Dogzplot Magic Issue, an island unto itself now that Barry's transitioned into an all-flash format at the homepage. Feast your eyes upon "Thirteen Dudes Named Orlando," a dissection of the non-magical (or, at best, quasi-magical) concepts of coincidence and concurrence. Thanks to Mr. Graham for the inclusion- always an honor and privilege to get the invite to the Dogzplot family picnic.

Cry Me a Lagoon

Today's the wrong day to have anything precipitation-related in a post title, as Chicago's currently on the receiving end of its first serious t-storm beatdown of the season. The perfect day to say indoors and indulge your sadsack side...

Speaking of, get your read on over at Thieves Jargon, where your dude's "Lil' Danny Sadsack" is batting lead-off for Issue #199. A hearty lit bouillabaisse of self-loathing, NPR potshots, and early-'90s chick flick references. This is the second piece that Mr. Dan Scannell at TJ has whipped into fine shape for me- a nicer, more patient/skilled editor you will not meet. So, quit putzing around and hook him up.

Sexy Results

Now, I'm no prude, but I didn't think I'd be delving into the candle wax-covered, Drakkar-soaked world of erotica this early in my writing career. I envisioned a slow-but-steady buildup, mirroring Shannon Tweed's rise to scramble-porn notoriety and ending with a designer drug habit and a maxed-out Lovers' Lane credit card. And yet, here we are...

Should you be in the mood for a tawdry tale or three, drop in on the gang at Every Night- a fine, brand-new journal devoted to everything going down in the boudoir. There you'll find a flash piece called "The Blackout," penned by your boy. I'd give it an R rating, due to its sexual imagery and strong language. So yeah, it's a lot like Porky's II: The Next Day. You know that's what you were thinking.

Gold Rush

Monday night is Taco Night. Deal with it. And what makes the perfect side dish? How 'bout two, count 'em, two hot-ass flash pieces in the same mf'n anthology. Sizzlin'.

So, quit reading this mullarkey and cop yourself the new Six Sentences collection, GSV3. Inside you'll find "A Different LaTroy" and "The Shvitz," explorations of pro sports eccentricity and adolescent neuroses, respectively. You know your journal game's tight when Richard Fucking Ford contributes, and Mr. Robert McEvily and the 6S site continue to blow minds. Thrilled and honored to be included in this latest installment. Invest.