Friday, December 2, 2011

We Are All Connected In The Great Circle Of Life

Three new shorts, one colossal announcement:

(1) New(ish) stories ("Old Man River," "Tennis Yell," and "Two Capricorns") cold lamping at Arcadia, Anatomy, and Untoward, respectively. All I see is hearts for all involved. Extra-special love is reserved for Mr. Matt Rowan and the entire Untoward crew for making your dude a 2012 Pushcart Prize Nominee! Pushing it real good, indeed.

(2) The unimpeachably-tremendous posse at Goldfish Press will be publishing my first short-story collection, You Have Until Noon to Unlock the Secrets of the Universe, by the end of 2011. A mix of old faves and new crushes guaranteed to stuff your stockings this holiday season. Official release date/party details forthcoming!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Triple Threat

Three new ass-grabbingly-good yarns for y'all: (1) "The Team," courtesy of the swell gents at Dark Sky Magazine, (2) "My Psychic Life Coach," coming at you hard at Johnny America, and (3) "Circulation Desk," tearing up the Amazon sales rankings thanks to the fine folks at Fast Forward Press. Over and out.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Pony Up

Quickly, and before I lose interest in this episode of Rizzoli & Isles: two new print joints, "In the Parking Lot of The Land of Nod, An Angel!" and "Several-Horse Town," brought to you by the gorgeous folks at Petrichor Machine and Anobium, respectively. Both debut issues, both guaranteed to land your ass in juvie.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Crazy From The Heat

Quickly, lest the Flash Mobs get their grubby paws all over you...

Two new shits: (1) the fanciful "Gravy Boat," (still) sorta-hot off the presses at The Northville Review, and (2) the magnanimous "His Deal," courtesy of the local boys and girls of Curbside Splendor. Bicycle theft/distribution and Polish nuptials, respectively.

Chi-town Stay Down!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Petty Hate Machine

Losing a loved one to Hot Topic can be a debilitating blow to any family. The narrator of "Amethyst," your dude's recent contribution to the preposterously-swell Everyday Genius, knows this all too well. Pause The Downward Spiral for now and try this newest rambling on for size. Guaranteed to heat your ass up, like a pleather duster in Midtown Memphis come August. Much love to Adam Robinson for the inclusion.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Critical Lockdown II: Assignment Miami Beach

What happens when two tight bros dare to dream, put pen to paper, and ignore federal sentencing guidelines/every shred of common sense or dignity? Why, you get "Why We Must Write Prison Baby," graciously included in the debut issue of Kugelmass, that's what. Inside this real-ass book you'll find a cavalcade of stars (Mike Birbiglia, Larry Doyle, Steve Almond... shall I continue?). Also participating: me. It's not question of want. You must obtain this shit.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

High 'N Tight

Your current haircut is awesome, beyond reproach. Of this I am certain. You're nothing like Hair Boy, the object of the protagonist's scorn in the conveniently-titled "Hair Boy,", your dude's newest offering (and nestled between the other top-notch reads in the debut issue of Dragnet Magazine). You're a regular Clark Gable, a real Georgia Peach. And, you love online lit mags with gorgeous layouts and multiple formats for your technology-beholden ass. So, that's why you're going to give the mirror a rest and pop in at Dragnet right quick, El Guapo. Congrats to Andrew and Jeremy on getting Issue One out the door- you folks clean up real nice.

Wait For It...

Much has been made of Gerald Rivers' bravery in the face of chairs to the face. But what of his plunderin', his hole searchin'? My sentiments exactly. Why don't you and I head down to the cellar, grab a lantern, plug in a laptop, and exchange awkward looks while you read "The Peculiar Circumstances Surrounding the (Previously) Super-Secret Travels of Geraldo Rivera Following the Taping of The Mystery of Al Capone's Vault?" Give up stuff that sucks for Lent and pay the folks at Hobo Pancakes a fine how-do-you-do.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Friend Request Denied

Looking for love in all the wrong places, Johnny Lee-style? Get on the Internet, you nitwit! And don't be bashful about ante-ing up with Social Security/bank routing numbers. It's just your computer's way of saying, You deserve the very best. Let's find you a mate in your tax bracket.

All of these life lessons, plus a handful more (I mean, let's not get crazy here), lie within "Broke-Ass James Taylor," a pre-Valentine's romp concerning underemployment, loves lost and found, and mid-range appetizers. XOXO to folks at Burnt Bridge (aka Best First Date Ever).

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Human Resources

The Double-Dip Recession has posed unique challenges to us all, especially the platinum-reinforced among us. Still interested? Prove it by take a long look-see at Issue 19 of Blood Lotus, where "RoboCop is Always Very Busy in Mid-June" is patiently waiting for you in the Fiction portion. Make it a Super-Casual Friday and read this shit instead of boning up on Staple Replacement Best Practices.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Shut Up And Take Me To Dress Barn

Snowed in? Pinned under the smoldering remains of a '94 Jeep Cherokee on the side of I-80? Perfect! You now have the free time with which to peruse the debut issue of The Cleveland Review. "The Shoppes at Heritage Trail" beckons, a dissection of the wild animal attacks and C-list promotional appearances plaguing our nation's malls. Several thanks to the new pals at TCR for the roster spot.